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Pre-committed / Dating coaching guides couples on their journey to achieve a deeper understanding about themselves, each other and their relationship. We engage in a process to gain awareness of each of their beliefs, needs, visions, values and emotional wounds, pains and vulnerabilities. Then learn and practice the critical skill sets needed in order to build a healthy, happy and harmonious relationship.
During our coaching, couples will obtain clarity about themselves, their partner and their relationship. This creates a solid foundation to either enthusiastically agree to move forward together or let go and be better prepared when the next relationship opportunity presents itself.
In the beginning of a relationship, we focus on all of the wonderful qualities of our new partner and unfortunately most people have never taken the classes or gained the knowledge of how to show up and be in a long term committed relationship. The gift of understanding the nature of why we choose who we choose and how we can show up in a way that brings peace, purpose and passion is the goal to achieve.
The first phase of Pre-committed / Dating coaching encompasses each person gaining a deep understanding of what they bring to the relationship. What I mean by this is we all have emotional wounds from our past that have formed our fears and belief systems. Unfortunately many couples do not grasp the enormous consequences these neuronal memory connections have on how they evaluate their present day life and the impact it has on them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
When the excitement and effervesce of the romantic phase of the relationship matures into the committed phase, partners reach a level of safety, certainty and trust where they unconsciously invite the other into their inner world. This is when you hear people say things like, “I have never seen that side of you before.” It is not that someone wakes up one morning and changes; it is that they now are looking for their partner to show up in a unique way that will fulfill specific needs that only can be fulfilled in a committed relationship. Unfortunately, the other person has no idea of this agenda and begins to react because they do not understand.
This is when couples enter the dangerous and painful Cycle of Conflict that will ultimately lead to an increase in negativity, obstruction, turmoil and conflict. This is the next phase of the coaching, understanding the cycle, and how to spot the warning flags, how to manage the energy and how to minimize the impact it can have on a relationship.
There are many institutions that offer pre-marital classes and do a great job of trying to prepare people for the challenges committed relationships present. I feel though that many of the programs do not devote enough time to teach and practice the 5 critical skill sets needed to create a solid foundation upon which to build a relationship home on.
These skill sets are learning the art and science of changing disempowering fears and belief systems, the tools to manage yours and the relationships reactive information and energy, the critical skills of communicating in a safe, honest, peaceful and respectful manner, the awareness of giving and receiving commitment and the technique to learn, speak and fulfill each other’s Languages of Needs. These five skill sets are essential for you and your partner to learn and master in order for your relationship home to obtain and sustain peace, purpose and passion in your