Most clients I’ve worked with (and, really, most everyone I know) wouldn’t mind boosting their confidence and self-esteem. In my experience, undue distress over a particular situation is often rooted in low self-esteem or self-acceptance. When you have amazing self-esteem, little niggling worries are easily ignored. An odd look from a boss or criticism from a boyfriend will just roll off your back. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
When the therapeutic goal is increasing self-esteem, I begin by working with clients to:
- Learn how to recognize and enjoy strengths and successes
- Understand how to be comfortable with (rather than berate oneself for) any weaknesses, mistakes, or failures
Clients with low self-esteem tend to consider success as neutral events, see neutral events as failures, and experience failures as catastrophes. When something great happens do you brush it off as luck? Have you ever made a quick-witted comment at a dinner party only to dwell on it for hours later? We all do this from time to time. If such behavior happens with more frequency then perhaps I can help you to better understand how your relationship with your experiences, both positive and negative, shapes your belief in your own self-worth.