So, you’ve been dating someone for a few months when you suddenly have the realization that this person is just like the last person you dated. And the person before that, and before that and so on. Or are they?
Why is it that no matter what some people do, they always manage to attract the exact same type of relationship, jobs and circumstances they just spent the last six months trying to get away from?
When it comes to romance, you likely have certain preferences that you screen for when selecting a partner. Some are conscious choices you have made over the years and others are unconscious decisions based on these childhood imprints and your beliefs about what you deserve, how happy you think you should be, etc…
Relationships are dynamic. We are constantly adjusting our actions and communication. In a game of badminton, one player lobs the shuttlecock across the net to the other player. The other player interprets the aim and responds, adjusting his serve. Something not so different is happening when you interact with your significant other. If you are constantly & consistently communicating in the same way and doing the same things every time with each successive partner, it might not surprise you that they all start to react to you in a similar fashion.
Another one of the amazing things our brains do is that they love to pick out and analyze patterns, sometimes where none exist (conspiracy theories, anyone?). Part of that is taking your experiences from past relationships and pointing out when situations seem familiar.
So, if it seems like you are always in the same relationship, even though the people are different, you might want to stop a moment and see if it could have anything to do with:
1) Your Preferences: Your conscious and unconscious decisions about who you want to be with.
2) Your Communication: Are you indirectly creating the same circumstances over and over?
3) Your Beliefs: Are you placing limits on them or yourself because of how you think the world should work?
Any one of them could be the reason you’re getting that oh-so-comfortable familiar feeling mixed in with a heavy dose of unnerving awareness.