The Best Dating Advice » Dating 204: Long Term Relationships - dating long term relationships

By: The Best Dating Advice  09-12-2011
Keywords: dating, Long Term Relationships

The Best Dating Advice » Dating 204: Long Term Relationships

So, you’ve been dating someone for a few months when you suddenly have the realization that this person is just like the last person you dated. And the person before that, and before that and so on. Or are they?

Why is it that no matter what some people do, they always manage to attract the exact same type of relationship, jobs and circumstances they just spent the last six months trying to get away from?

When it comes to romance, you likely have certain preferences that you screen for when selecting a partner. Some are conscious choices you have made over the years and others are unconscious decisions based on these childhood imprints and your beliefs about what you deserve, how happy you think you should be, etc…

Relationships are dynamic. We are constantly adjusting our actions and communication. In a game of badminton, one player lobs the shuttlecock across the net to the other player. The other player interprets the aim and responds, adjusting his serve. Something not so different is happening when you interact with your significant other. If you are constantly & consistently communicating in the same way and doing the same things every time with each successive partner, it might not surprise you that they all start to react to you in a similar fashion.

Another one of the amazing things our brains do is that they love to pick out and analyze patterns, sometimes where none exist (conspiracy theories, anyone?). Part of that is taking your experiences from past relationships and pointing out when situations seem familiar.

So, if it seems like you are always in the same relationship, even though the people are different, you might want to stop a moment and see if it could have anything to do with:

1) Your Preferences: Your conscious and unconscious decisions about who you want to be with.
2) Your Communication: Are you indirectly creating the same circumstances over and over?
3) Your Beliefs: Are you placing limits on them or yourself because of how you think the world should work?

Any one of them could be the reason you’re getting that oh-so-comfortable familiar feeling mixed in with a heavy dose of unnerving awareness.

Keywords: dating, Long Term Relationships

Contact The Best Dating Advice

Email

Print this page

Other products and services from The Best Dating Advice

09-12-2011

The Best Dating Advice » Dating 204: Long Term Relationships

Often, what we may think of cute, cheeky or innocent may end up offending her once she looks at it through her “what does this gift say about me” filter. When it comes to buying gifts for women, any present you intend to buy for her should be appropriate to her taste. Women are very good at giving off subtle hints about things they want or things they want guys to know.


09-12-2011

The Best Dating Advice » Romantic Ideas & Tips

Gauge how many guests you’ll have and give each one an item to be responsible for.2) Paparazz-ize: Be sure to capture all the fun and excitement, including the riske or outrageous moments, on your digital camera. Pick Your Spot: If your plan does not include a pre-parade top-up of Irish or Bailey’s coffee, get to the route early an stake your claim on the spot of land where you and your friends will be hanging out.


09-12-2011

The Best Dating Advice » Dating 336: Break ups

You haven’t spoken to one another since “the incident”, which is a real shame because you just realized how much you miss hearing his/her voice. They’ll naturally start gravitating back to you and you could even see glimpses of the “old them” when you are out having fun together. Keep your interactions light, don’t get too emotional and understand it’s a long road ahead to rebuild the trust you once shared.


09-12-2011

The Best Dating Advice » Uncategorized

There’s a school of thought that says this desire for getting other people’s approval is hardwired in us from the days we had a tribal culture when it was a struggle just to stay alive. If we completely tank, on an emotional level, we feel that loss, that primal pain of not being accepted, deeply, as though those tribal conditions still existed.