How to honour parent(s) who passed
When a parent has passed away recently, it’s important to find an appropriate way to remember them without ruining the joyous tone of the wedding. After all, a wedding is a celebration, and while a missing parent is certainly sad, it shouldn’t overpower the wedding day.
Following are some ways to remember a parent:
1. Set up a special small table at the wedding reception with a flower arrangement and card saying ‘In memory of those loved ones who are not with us today” or more specifically ‘In memory of (name), mother/father of the bride/groom.’ You may want to put a picture of the bride and/or groom with the deceased person you are honouring?
2. At the wedding reception you could display pictures of family members inclusive your mom and/or dad and pictures of other loved ones with the bride/groom. This is a more subtle way of including the dead in your day.
3. You may want to wear a piece of jewellery or article of clothing. (For example your mother’s wedding dress, your father’s cuff links, ring, etc.)
4. You could carry the same flowers your mother had in her bouquet or perhaps her favourite flowers?
5. At the end of the wedding program, it is quite appropriate to add a memoriam line. For example, you could write ‘Today we honour those who could not be with us, especially the bride/groom’s mom/dad.’
6. Often times, I suggest lighting of a candle in memory of mom/dad. I weave a short personal message as part of the ceremony. Usually this is done at the beginning of the ceremony. Or if a homily or sermon is included, I make mention of mom/dad inclusive a personal anecdote (that bride and/or groom have shared with me).
7. To be sure you want to honour your mom/dad. Be mindful your mom/dad would have wanted you to enjoy your special day! They certainly would not have wanted your special day being over-shadowed by sadness. They would be extremely proud of you their son and/or daughter! Think of them standing next to you with gladness and thanksgiving.
That is what any parent would have wanted!
Have a wonder-filled Wedding Day!Rev. Rudy Heezen