Funeral Etiquette « FSN Funeral Homes

By: Fsn Funeral Homes  09-12-2011
Keywords: Flower Arrangements, Funerals, Funeral Homes

Funeral Etiquette « FSN Funeral Homes

Funeral Preparation

A purification of the deceased body is done by The Chevra Kadisha. This is a sacred society made up of a group of men and women who perform the ritual of cleansing and preparing the body for burial. A white gown with no pockets or decorations, called a Tachrichim, is worn for burial. It symbolizes that when mortals leave this world they take nothing with them, and judgment from God is based on merits and good deeds, not materialistic belongings.


In Judaism a mourner is considered to be Kaddish related. This means that the mourners are obligated to observe and conduct the rites of mourning. Parents, spouses, siblings and children of the deceased are considered mourners and it is their responsibility to make sure that proper Jewish funeral rites are carried out.

The Service

Traditional Jewish funerals take place in a temple, synagogue or graveside. Funeral guests dress conservatively. Men wear a head covering called a kippah or yarmulke, and most often a suite and tie. Women are not required to wear head coverings, however, they do not wear short sleeves, short skirts or open toed shoes.

You will notice that most Jewish funerals will not have many flower arrangements other than one or two small casket tributes. Most Jewish funerals ask that a charitable donation be made instead of sending flowers.
Family members (mourners) will more than likely be in a waiting room or in a vehicle prior to the service. This is because it is disrespectful to talk to the mourners before the burial. No condolences are to be offered until after the service is over.

Traditional Jewish services usually last about 20 minutes and consist of several Scripture readings, Psalms, prayers and a eulogy. The Rabbi will lead the congregation through the service beginning with the cutting of a black ribbon. Participation is encouraged throughout the prayers.

Prior to or after the service the mourners perform the ritual K’riah. It is an ancient custom, traditionally tearing garments, but has now evolved into attaching a black ribbon to the outside of the clothing worn by the mourners. A special prayer is said during the cutting of the ribbon: ‘Dayan Ha’emet‘ meaning ‘Blessed is the judge of truth’.

  • The ribbon is worn on the left side if they are mourning a parent.
  • It is worn on the right side for all other Kaddish relatives.
  • The ribbons are traditionally worn for 7 days. However, the mourners of a parent wear it for 30 days.


Chairs surround the burial site for the mourners to sit. Friends and family will stand or sit surrounding the family during the burial. Prayers are said along with Chesed Shel Emet which is considered the greatest act of kindness to the departed. Where mourners and guests take part in the burial by placing a handful or shovel full of dirt or rocks in the grave.

A Shura is then formed by the guests at the service. It is a double line facing each other forming a pathway for the mourners to pass through and receive words of condolences. This will be the first time that mourners will receive any comforting words from guests at the service. A traditional expression often said to the family during the Shura is “‘Ha-Makom yenahem etkhem b’tokh sha ar aveilei Tzion v Yerushalayim’ meaning ‘May the Omnipresent comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem’.

  • Washing your hands when leaving the cemetery is customary in the Judaism. You may do this at home or before you enter the Shiva home.

Shiva Home

Following Jewish tradition a Shiva is held at the home of the mourners. This is one of the most meaningful traditions in the Jewish faith. The community will offer a meal for the mourners at their home. Family and guests will attend to console and express sympathy to the family.

  • The Shiva is a seven-day period for mourning beginning the day of burial. Mourners will stay home during this time. The only time a mourner will leave home is on Shabbat to attend a service in the Synagogue. Everyday during the seven days there will be three prayer services at the home when the mourners will recite the Kaddish prayer.

During the seven days of Shiva it is appropriate to visit the home of the bereaved. You may notice that mirrors are covered, candles are lit, men are unshaven and women are not wearing makeup. This is a tradition that symbolizes the great disruption the death has brought to the family.


Keywords: Flower Arrangements, Funeral Homes, Funerals

Contact Fsn Funeral Homes

Email - none provided

Print this page

Other products and services from Fsn Funeral Homes


Funeral Flowers « FSN Funeral Homes

Even in areas that do not suffer harsh winters, grave blankets are a popular winter cemetery decoration because most fresh flowers cannot tolerate the cold. Grave blankets, though not traditional to any part of the country, are an American tradition that has taken root in northernmost states. In the same way that casket sprays decorate a casket at the funeral, grave blankets decorate the gravesite at the cemetery.


Grief Support « FSN Funeral Homes

It is a way to express your emotions without having to say a word.If you play an instrument or enjoy singing – create a song honoring your loved one and it record it on tape. Putting together a scrapbook might be difficult at first, but once the initial emotions have set in, you can create a book that will honor your loved one.


Estate Planning « FSN Funeral Homes

Administration: The time when the personal representative collects the deceased assets, pays debt and distributes the estate as arranged in will. Asset Protection: The act of protecting your estate during your life and after death from any legal or tax problems. Annual Exclusion: The amount of gifts allowed annually to be given to family members free of federal taxes.


Cremation « FSN Funeral Homes

The early Catholic Church openly forbid cremation for centuries because of the belief that the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Cremation was seen as a pagan practice that denied the doctrine and faith in resurrection. The Order of Catholic Funerals was three separate, and ideally, sequential rites to celebrate the end of one’s life in the flesh, and the beginning of a new one in spirit.


Monuments « FSN Funeral Homes

There can be two separate vases along either side of the individual marker, an indented space can be made available at the top of the headstone, or a wire flower saddle can be placed upon the individual gravestone. With all different types, shapes, sizes, flower placement styles and cremation burial options available it can seem impossible to select a memorial that is meant to enshrine your loved one’s memory for eternity.


Funeral Planning « FSN Funeral Homes

It is a wise idea to ‘shop’ around before deciding which funeral home to work with. Many families are not aware of their role in the funeral planning process.